Wednesday, January 25, 2012

Singing Lies - By Marni Mann

Singing Lies
- Marni Mann

The song was bitter; its taste was sweet poison like the melody.
The voice was embedded, “You crave the rush.”
I memorized the pitch, became the tone.

I listened, five-years worth of repeated lines.
“You’re hungry for the nod.”
I heard the lyrics and closed my eyes. I nodded to the beat and bowed to its lies.

I heard the lyrics and opened my eyes. My stomach churned for more sweet pain.
“Find me,” the wax-paper packets, which were filled with white powder, screamed.
Each verse was a command.

I didn’t fight the music.
I couldn’t fight the sound.
“Dump the powder onto the spoon; heat it, light it, turn white powder into liquid lies.”

The song made me powerless.
“Take the orange cap off the syringe and fill the chamber.”
That, I managed just fine.

My family, "Stop this madness. The song killed your best friend."
“Empty the chamber into your vein.”
 It wasn’t going to kill me. Was that another lie?

I knew what I was doing; when to listen, how much to take in.
“You’ve fallen for the steady rhythm; selling your soul to buy the powder.”
And when I heard those lyrics and danced to that song, it didn’t bring me into a dark hole.

It warmed me like a blanket; it erased my past.
It showed me the quietness of the waves.
“You’ve fallen for me.”

And those waves?
They had powdered tips and a liquid center.
And when the waves hit my body?

The song became a twisted, dark copy of Staying Alive.
"Now taste me again.”
The purpose of life was to sing heroin’s sweet melody.

“You’ve fallen for me.”
I heard the lyrics and closed my eyes.
I nodded to the beat and bowed to its lies.

Friday, January 20, 2012

O my love, turn your face to me - Bulleh Shah

Sade wal mukhra mor pyareya, sade wal mukhra mor
Turn Your face towards us O Beloved. Turn Your face towards us.

Aape hi tu kundiyaan laiyaan
Aape khichnayen dor
Sade wal mukhra…

You Yourself have locked us in.
You alone are pulling us towards Yourself. O Beloved, turn Your face towards us.

Ishk day mare avain Phirde
jiven jangal dor

Arsh farash to bangan miliyaan
Makke pe gaya shor. Sade wal mukhra …

I have received the divine message from the earth and heaven (from within and without)
In Mecca (the holy place) an uproar has been created. O Beloved, turn Your face towards us.

Doli pake le chale khere
Ujar na chalda jor. Sade wal mukhra…

The Kheres are taking away (heer) after putting her in the palanquin.
She does not have any control. O Beloved, turn Your face towards us.

Je maae tenu khere pyare
Doli pa kise hor. Sade wal mukhra….

O mother if the Kheres are dear to you,
Put someone else in the palanquin. O Beloved, turn Your face towards us.

Bullehshah asi marna naahi
Mar jaave koi hor. Sade wal mukhra….

Bulleh Shah says, I am not going to die.
Some one else has died. O Beloved, turn Your face towards us.